When the winds blow in the mountains, they create a music with the river and leaves of deodar, oaks and pines. A man never thinks of poetry, but observes it, feels it. The words do not exist then, only music. The soul of the mountains one cannot capture in pages. I have only tried to write about the music, and a little more from elsewhere. Mountains send the winds to other places too.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Mobile
Send a smiley that i react to when I wake up
Mesmerize me with a message,
I have mobile expectations.
first time i read, it was something to smile about, succeeding reads gave reason to think more and deeper..is it about the distance, is it about keeping in touch, is it about finding time to show gestures of endearment despite the busy fuzzy world we all live in?
I am replying under this section because i don't know where else to express...
... i read your description (in user profile) first before reading your poems...written nicely, precisely...i got exactly what you wanted to convey...
but if you could have changed the structure a little bit, then it would have been spotless...
...you are from mountains, right... so instead of prism if you could have used "drop(of rain)/dew drop" it would have been more soulful & nostalgic...and instantly would have created that image of mountains in the mind of the reader. On the other hand i feel you have done sciences...so you must be knowing that rainbow is made of suspended water particles in the sky...so this way also you are more attached to the roots....
another thing is, instead of article "the" you could have used "a" because you know the drop(prism) but others do not...it is personal to you, not to them...it is your world and not theirs...
and one last thing..."and the world is rainbow", i liked this...world is white light, it is not disintegrated into its constituents...but it is you...your perspective which is making the difference...and now the world is V I B G Y O R...
please don't take me as a critic, i liked the concept so much that i felt like sharing what i felt about it...i do not respond or reply to anyone but i felt connected and here is what i felt...
...i can explain the idea for hours...
one more thing before i sign off...you have got very good thoughts, but you look restrained...maybe by your own self...let yourself get absorbed in things, be the oul and then nourish the creative tree from within...
much delighted by your post.. your view of my thoughts is remarkable.. the clarity of perception..
the world of a poet is as personal as his (or her) poetry.. hence i used more personal terms here.. this is not a justification as i believe thats not what you seek..
would love to hear/ read your hours long ideas.. as and when it is convenient for you..
first time i read, it was something to smile about, succeeding reads gave reason to think more and deeper..is it about the distance, is it about keeping in touch, is it about finding time to show gestures of endearment despite the busy fuzzy world we all live in?
ReplyDelete:) in your words -- mesmerized!
u found more meanings than i intended rina.. thank u so much..
ReplyDeleteit is also abt expectations that may change soon..
and it is also abt waking up to a smile in a lonely hotel room.. i mean to a smile in msg..
Hi Sudeep,
ReplyDeleteI am... lets keep it for some other time...
I am replying under this section because i don't know where else to express...
... i read your description (in user profile) first before reading your poems...written nicely, precisely...i got exactly what you wanted to convey...
but if you could have changed the structure a little bit, then it would have been spotless...
...you are from mountains, right... so instead of prism if you could have used "drop(of rain)/dew drop" it would have been more soulful & nostalgic...and instantly would have created that image of mountains in the mind of the reader. On the other hand i feel you have done sciences...so you must be knowing that rainbow is made of suspended water particles in the sky...so this way also you are more attached to the roots....
another thing is, instead of article "the" you could have used "a" because you know the drop(prism) but others do not...it is personal to you, not to them...it is your world and not theirs...
and one last thing..."and the world is rainbow", i liked this...world is white light, it is not disintegrated into its constituents...but it is you...your perspective which is making the difference...and now the world is V I B G Y O R...
please don't take me as a critic, i liked the concept so much that i felt like sharing what i felt about it...i do not respond or reply to anyone but i felt connected and here is what i felt...
...i can explain the idea for hours...
one more thing before i sign off...you have got very good thoughts, but you look restrained...maybe by your own self...let yourself get absorbed in things, be the oul and then nourish the creative tree from within...
Dear Anon..
ReplyDeletemuch delighted by your post.. your view of my thoughts is remarkable.. the clarity of perception..
the world of a poet is as personal as his (or her) poetry.. hence i used more personal terms here.. this is not a justification as i believe thats not what you seek..
would love to hear/ read your hours long ideas.. as and when it is convenient for you..
Cheers.. to happiness..